Actonians Cricket Club


Twickenham 4 v Actonians Cricket Club 3rd XI on Sat 13 Aug 2016 at 12.30pm
Actonians Cricket Club Lost By 61 runs

Match report Following a bang to my head you will find this report devoid of detail for the period spent in A and E. In addition I have had difficulty recollecting what did really happen and what I must clearly have imagined. Where you see a question mark this represents those moments!

We arrived in Teddington, one of the leafier parts of London, to be greeted with a field covered in goose shit. On a similar theme the skipper was feeling somewhat rough and had two trips to the gents before the match started! At least he won the toss and inserted the oppo on a bone hard pitch. Despite his penchant for the. Aztec 2 step, Nathan opened the bowling with Vaughan and got one of their openers with one that did keep low. We kept things tight until Nathan bowled their number 3 to have them 33 for 2 in the 14th over. Smithy then came on for Vaughan and clearly their middle order decided he had to go. 2 of them were caught by Geoff going for ambitious drives and their skipper nicked off to the VC (who to his credit walked). So with the score at 56 for 5 in the 18th over we were clearly in control. However their opener was still there doing his customary Dogs of. War impression and he found a willing ally in their number 7. Chas dropped a sharp chance at slip off. Smithy to get rid of the opener and at 105 for 5 in the 33rd, they had a foothold in the game. Parker bowled a probing spell (? ) with no reward as the game started to get away from us. Chas came on to take some pace off the ball but in his 2nd over a leg side delivery was swatted fine by the opener but unfortunately for me he caught me more than a glancing blow with his bat on the follow through. Thankfully I managed to do a dying swan act to the only part of the outfield devoid of goose you know what. As blood oozed from the wound there was talk of me doing avTerry Butcher and playing on with a bloodied bandage. A Basil Fawlty impression was more likely though......"I mentioned the war but I think I got away with it......"

After H asked me to pose for the family album I walked off to the waiting ambulance and off to Kingston A and E. I must say in was impressed with the standard of care with 3 nurses pandering me. One cleaned the wound, one mopped my brow (?) and the other dropped grapes into my expectant mouth (?)!

I returned to the ground via a Ghanian cab driver who rubbed salt into the wound by charging me a tenner. We were 79 for 4 chasing 202. My appearance clearly did little to inspire as we lost wickets at regular intervals with only Rob Long offering the sort of resistance required. Vaughan landed some lusty blows but our lower middle order was blown away by a young lady who to be fair bowled very well. We fell well short in the end in what was a very disappointing display in a game where a win would have guaranteed safety. Now we have a bit of a fight on our hands. If that wasn't bad enough we then had to listen to Smithy sing Barbie Girl (?) and I joined our very own West Country bumpkin in a rendition of I've got a brand new combine harvester......I'm pretty sure that did happen!

Twickenham 4 Batting
Player name RunsMB4s6sSR
9nb 9w 3b 4lb 
for 9 wickets
202 (50.0 overs)
Amos b  Mehaffy 4
Supple run out  Robertson 50
Chatham b  Mehaffy 9
Purab ct  Barker B Smith 13
Tomar ct  Spinks B Smith 0
Jefferson ct  Barker B Smith 8
Blunden b  Mehaffy 56
Gul ct  Barker B Robertson 28
Manu run out  Robertson 2
Oass Not Out  0

Actonians Cricket Club 3rd XI Bowling

Player NameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
Nathan Mehaffy16.0345315.002.81
Vaughan Robertson12.0062162.005.17
Steve Smith9.0437312.334.11
Richard Parker9.023500.003.89
Chaz Hussain4.011600.004.00

Actonians Cricket Club 3rd XI Batting
Player Name RMB4s6sSRCatchesStumpingsRun outs
4nb 3w 2b 1lb 
for 10 wickets

(34.2 overs)
Andrew Maben ct  Vj 4 1
Geoffrey Barker ct  Vj 0 3
Chaz Hussain b  Chauhan 33 7
Rob Long ct  Manu 42 4
Hitesh Patel ct  Chauhan 12 2
Matt Gurkin b  Chauhan 6 1
Richard Parker ct  Chauhan 7 1
Vaughan Robertson b  Manju 22 2 1 2
Nathan Mehaffy b  Manju 5
Steve Smith b  Manju 0
Andrew Spinks Not Out  0 1

Twickenham 4 Bowling

Player nameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy